I wish you weren’t so impatient. Like, sometimes it’s ok to just let things take their time and unwind. Pulling on the strings when they’re tangled only strengthens the knots. And you don’t want knots, do you? Sometimes I think you enjoy the struggle… and pulling and the grief. That just doesn’t make any sense to me.
And could you just learn to be grateful for the things you have in life, instead of constantly wishing for the past or longing for the future? You’re missing the present. You’re missing out on what is in favor for what was or what could be, and let me tell you something, neither one of those things is going to rock you to sleep at night. You hate sleeping alone…. remember?
I know you’re busy, but seriously. Humans have 206 bones…. why are at least 200 of yours selfish? Is that just how you were built? I wish I could take every single selfish bone out of your body and leave you in a heap of skin and organs. Maybe then you’d understand what it means to be more concerned with others than you are for yourself. Maybe being left deflated, and stuck is exactly what you need to stop being so worried about yourself and learn to be happy when others are happy, even if it’s not what works for you.
And that vice? The one you half wish you didn’t do, but you do anyway? I hate it. I wish you’d just stop it. Why is that such a hard concept? Does it have to be a struggle…. you’d think the fact that I don’t want you to do it alone, would be enough of a reason for you to stop. And I really wish you wouldn’t let your lips fall in love before your brain approves and your heart has a chance to catch up. This isn’t high school.
Stop sabotaging. Can’t you just LET yourself be happy? Right here. In this moment. And the next one. And the one after that.
Most of all, what I’m trying to say is, we’re stuck together. For eternity. So pull it together, Cols. You’re killing us with all this bullcrap. Time to grow up.
How’d you settle on me, bright eyes?