One night, after a full day of shooting, I was sitting down to a conversation with a new friend. We talked about a few things, but he told me something that has stayed with me in the months that have passed since that conversation. He said… “The power of belief is greater even than love. Because you can’t really feel love if you don’t believe in it.” -QA
He had no in depth knowledge of my situation, nor I his. But somehow, that statement has exactly the seed that I needed planted in my brain at that time. As a female, you grow up watching Disney and seeing those love stories and wanting nothing more than to have the prince come save you from the normal, boring everyday… to whisk you away to something exciting and passionate where every emotion is presented in song form and the animals talk and no story ever ends badly. I never considered the other half, the responsibility that comes along with love. Before you can have this amazing thing, you have to have a basis of belief. You have to believe it’s possible to love someone forever, to decide you’re going to look past the bad and the weird and the baggage, no matter how bad it gets, in order to fall into the kind of love that poet’s describe. If you don’t believe in love, you’ll never have it. That’s so apparent to me now. I feel like that scene in Peter Pan lately, laid out and just trying to convince myself that I can do something to save the situation I’m in. Chanting “I do I do I do believe in fairies”… except for substituting, of course, that which I need so badly to remember to believe in.