doubt truth to be a liar

“Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.”


I was thinking the other day about how interesting it would be if at the end of your life, you were displayed stats, just like in Halo or Call of Duty.  It would show number of achievements, medals, number of betrayals, number of hearts won, and hearts broken.  Weaknesses.  Strengths.  I think to have it all spelled out would make things a bit clearer.  I daydreamed on this for awhile… made up some pretty cool achievements in my head if I do say so myself 😉  I went and bought Rosetta Stone today… Italian.  I got my passport and I decided that if I’m gonna see the whole world, I better start now!  I chose Italian because I fell in love with the area after studying it so much in art history classes.  Looking at booking the trip now.  I seriously can’t wait.  It’s recent life events that have led me to the conclusion that life is way too short to deny yourself any experience.

Of course, that led to one of the most interesting life experiences I’ve had to date.  I had a shoot in Beaumont this last week, and as I was driving back my friend told me about a rave that was happening that night in the DFW area.  Actually, 2.  Now, this is definitely not my normal scene.  I barely even go out, but when I have, it’s been strictly booty dancing and rap music.  Maybe I would have normally said no thanks, but then I just thought to myself…… why not?  It’s not like you have an opportunity much in life to experience something with people who are genuinely passionate for it.  Kind of like that reality show on MTV about that guy who goes and lives life with different people.  So I decided to go.  But not just go, I decided to really do it.  The first one was a costume rave…. so naturally I needed rave clothes.  I should say that the normal uniform for raves is underwear and these really tall fuzzy boots and some sort of maybe wings or glow in the dark paint or other form of glowing thing.  And as much as I wanted the experience, I just couldn’t bring myself to that attire… hahahaha.  So Lauren and I went to Dallas and picked out costumes.  I was a ballerina (and I even pushed it a little, and I was still the most clothed person there…. hahaha)  Here is the evidence…

Yes, I’m aware that I look absolutely ridiculous.  The first rave was in downtown Fort Worth…. and it started at 11.  So me and 4 others jumped into the car and headed that way.  The very first thing I saw was a girl throwing a hula hoop…… that was on fire.  This is a true story.  Walking in a immediately felt like I entered another world.  Lasers and lights and glowing EVERYWHERE.  It’s common knowledge that drug use is pretty popular among the rave crowd.  I should say now that first of all, I have no idea how someone could be there and be on drugs… I was overstimulated and felt weird as it was…. pretty sure any added influence would have just made me pass out or go crazy or something.  And second of all, everyone with me that night was drug free… we were just getting down sober style.  So rave dancing is completely different from any I’ve done before…. the two main ones are called stomping and shuffling.  My friends Stephanie and Jesse taught me how to do both.  And again, yes I looked completely ridiculous, but it was so fun.  Stomping reminds me of a dance that the Fauns would do if they could make techno music on their awesome flutes. Besides that, my favorite favorite part was something called light shows.  I just happened to be with a guy who is absolutely unreal at them.  They are called glovers and they wear these gloves that have light on all five fingers.  Then they stand in front of you and give a light show.  Holy crap.  Seriously.  I could have watched Jesse and Steph give light shows all night.  Here’s an example in case you’re interested…..

I really felt like I just entered this whole other fantasy land.  Lauren made me “kandy” before we left (it says cols to the wall… although I was officially given a raver name… “trooper”.  Yep, a raver name.  I love it.)  which is basically just a bracelet with glowy beads on it.

The second rave was in Dallas and started at 4 AM.  Yep.  4 AM.  We didn’t leave until 8 in the morning… Sunrise.  I can now officially tell my hypothetical children (Phoenix and Adelaide, if you must know) that I did at one point stay out alllll night raving.  Hahahaaha.  So there it is… my awesome rave experience.

Switching gears, a few months ago I got to shoot photos of one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met.  Her name is Kassi Moe.  I met her in Nashville through my friend Taylor and let me tell you, she is such a gem.  I remember the first time she got in my car to shoot, we were talking and she said, “I plan to live forever, and so far, so good.”  It made me laugh so hard and we just clicked immediately.  She also happens to be an amazing musician.  Her debut EP is coming out soon, but for now you can see these pictures and check out her music at

Go check her music out… she rules!

Now on a completely different note….

It seems these days I’m always drowning in my dreams.  Long drives and tired eyes lead to a wandering brain that never seems to come back the same.  I just wanna puke all over you and your stupid games and your power plays… and hey, at least then they’d be covered in something real.   Fake to the core, pushing for more never gets you anywhere but alone. But at least I’m not settling.  I think that’s worse.

sometimes you’re left wondering but then you have to remember that all there is and all there could be can’t exist in the same reality.  I’m not ever going to fall into line.

“And I love it when you’re holding me,
You have a gentle way of calming.
You know, I haven’t felt that way since, since 1993,
When my mother held me.
I bet you’re waiting for the long sob story,
Of how I was mistreated again.
No. Cause no, I wasn’t built that way
I was strong and desperately brave,
And I didn’t mean to scare ya.”

-Blue October

And finally, my favorite Lauren Jenkins quote from Rave night…. “dude, let’s go.  I’m gonna pee my leotard.”

Hahahahahaha ❤


2 thoughts on “doubt truth to be a liar

  1. Pingback: doubt truth to be a liar | International Travel Experience

  2. Pingback: take back what’s yours. « Capture! Studios/Colleen Allison

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s